Tuesday, 6 August 2013


Kyungohk’s Fan fiction

Dreams of Life

An azure blue sky, with the heavy scent of flowers, and the sudden rush of wind.Nello found himself in an unfamiliar place. He started walking. Soon, he came upon a hill, and he could see his grandfather and Patrasche from afar. His grandfather’s face looked peaceful and serene. His best friend Patrasche no longer looked haggard or starved. Nello felt a familiar warm sensation that caressed his heart and started to quicken his pace towards them. But, no matter how hard and fast he tried to walk he couldn’t reach them.

“Grandpa, Patrasche! Wait, please! I need to tell you something!” 

Nello desperately cried. The harder he cried out the more desperate he became because they simply continued to smile peacefully at Nello, without an answer and without a sound. 
 



The warm, heartening sensation he felt just moments before soon evaporated and was replaced with a fearful tremor that ran the length of his body. Just then his grandfather, though still miles away, told him softly, but firmly, as if he was right next to him.

“Don’t you worry Nello my boy, we’ll meet again, but now is not your time,you still have quite a bit to do. My young Nello, you will do great things some day.”

Nello couldn’t comprehend his grandfather’s words. He suddenly felt a coldness in his chest that he couldn’t escape. He started towards them, trying to reach them again, whatever it took to be with them once more. But the more ground he gained, the further they seemed to be.

He started to run. But suddenly, above his head came a roaring sound, so piercing and clear his eyes forced open. He came to his senses and scanned his surroundings. Everything was stark white.

He realized he was lying in a hospital bed, surrounded by white linen sheets and empty beds.He hung his head, his body in tremors. His face became wet with tears as he realized he was left all alone in this world, a world not worth living without his dear family. 




Then, a whisper. No, whispers, that seemed to grow more intense and yet, strangely hushed, as if they didn’t want others overhearing. Soon, a rushing through his ears,

“Did you hear about that poor little boy? I heard that his dog Patrasche died and was buried beside his grandfather with the help of the villagers…” 

These words seemed to echo through his ears..

”Yeah, and that the only reason this boy survived was because his dog covered him from the cold. Crazy huh?”

Time passed strangely fluidly, and soon the scents and colours of spring flourished. The little buds began to grow and burst out into beautiful flowers. As summer approached, more and more flowers bloomed as if to signal a new awakening. The subtle scent of flowers filled the atmosphere.

Nello, quite different from before, showed a more energetic stride in his step as he walked. After the death of Patrasche many things changed. He no longer spent his days in the orphanage as Nello became part of a new family. At first, like it would for anyone, it was hard to get used to this new life of his. But he held on to his optimism that things will turn out better as each day passed.
 
Nello's new parents recognised his talent for painting and never hesitated to support his art. They helped him financially for his dreams to succeed. 

Then time passed…and passed in a comfortable pattern until Nello had become fully grown, and a man no longer haunted with worries and regrets from his past. His footsteps became lighter on his way from one of his exhibits. Not only because his art works turned out brilliantly with much praise, but also because he decided that a trip down memory lane would be nice. Today was the day. He was ready to go back. 



He kept a light tune, humming all the way. His footsteps were light as if he were treading on mere clouds. The day was so clear, bright and beautiful that he knew not even his own paintings could capture this moment so accurately. Not because of the sun which shone as brightly as Nello's own smile and not because of the flowers and bees that seemed to hum together in unison but because beyond the hilltop there stood his Aloise, smiling up at him, a smile that to him, felt just like home.

Nello decided to stand his ground, no longer the hiding coward he was before, but a new man. Nello’s heart began to beat faster, fluttering repeatedly in his chest. He ran towards her and as he did, heard her say,

“It’s been so long Nello, you haven’t changed a bit.” 

He grinned and clasped her hands. They both looked down the hilltop overlooking the village beneath them happily content with the world. 





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11 comments:

  1. The text is very dense for reading online. Think seriously about your format.

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  2. I like the text. I think there might be a few unnecessary carriage returns. e.g. "replaced
    with a fearful tremor "

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for taking time to review my story.

      Delete
  3. Going well, but the dialogue tends to be buried in the paragraphs.

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  4. Good story, needs more pictures to assist imagination. Also, paragraphs need sorting out you have accidently (or not) centered a couple of paragraphs from below "Grandpa! Patrasche!..." this is unnecessary.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for your review of my story.It was helpful!

      Delete
  5. Good story. only need to do some editing about the paragraphs n add some more images :)

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for reading my story and reviewing it.

      Delete
  6. I like the finished product,
    A nice mixture between present tense dialogue and the main story.
    The paragraphs are a good size, and help to not get lost while reading on screen and the images work well.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you very much for respoding to a positive review.

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